Wednesday, April 01, 2009

ANS Exclusive: RJVi 1611 Edition Coming Soon!

Just today, a major publisher of high church of Episcopalians (USA), seeking to compromise and find reconciliation between conservatives and liberals, announced its plans to release a major new edition of the Holy Scriptures. This new edition is special in that the source of the text is the 1611 King James Bible, yet includes many new features for the modern reader. Here are just a few:

  • Genuine Fools Gold Embossed fake leather cover to prevent animal cruelty and actual gold mining.
  • Original font from the 1611 edition has been kept for the feeling of fidelity.
  • All new inclusive language in Elizabethan English, as if the sexism never really existed!
  • An all new inclusive language Booke of Psalms with the deprecatory psalms removed, written in the style of Elizabethan English.
  • Newly drawn map of Palestine in the Time of Christ and the Apostles/Apostlettes.
  • Apochrypha included.

This new edition of of the Royal James Version Inclusive 1611 Bible will be a great edition to all families with high and low church leanings.


Moonshadow said...

Now, see, here I thought April Fools' was a grade-school amusement yet you've posted a grown-up gag.

However, there is no compromise between conservatives and liberals, apparently. Hence that bit tipped me off tout de suite.

Matt said...

I just hope we laugh a little is all. :). I worked hard in that book cover design ya know! Heh

Moonshadow said...

Sure, but maybe it ought to be copyrighted 2011, just before the Apocalypse.

Perhaps even precipitating it.

"The whole truth is generally the ally of virtue; a half-truth is always the ally of some vice." - G.K. Chesterton